Week 8 Reax

Battle axe rap. Ain't been like none of these bitches, as far as Unseen can remember. Week 8 finished and another matchup where a QB stunk up the joint. And what a surprise it was- another Phillip Rivers stinkbomb against a hapless Cleveland. One might have given the man a little credit considering the Sunday conditions related to Hurricane Sandy, but not D99. It is time to acknowledge for the moment that this Chargers team is not an early OR midseason squad known for monster fantasy production. The only thing keeping them respectable is the fact they play in such a terrible division.  The NFC west got their shit together 2 seasons ago. Why is the AFC west still sputtering along? Is it because the Chiefs, Chargers, and Raiders are still peeing their pants like it's cool? Could it be that this division simply represents the worst collective management in the NFL?  In the lead up to Thursday night's game with the Chargers and Chiefs in San Diego, Fire Norv Turner was trending on twitter.  The sentiment carried over into the game even when it turned into a rout.

All of this is to say, that despite a 31-13 blowout, Rivers still managed to throw a pick and keep his fantasy production in the mid teens. If the Chargers are going anywhere this year, defense will have to carry them because their QB now has his switch turned on to the "bitch mode" setting. Phillip Rivers, You're Fucking Out. Take a seat.

In other league news, Larry Turner recorded his first win in a convincing blowout over Stealers Rule, being on the receiving end of fine days from Stafford, Crabtree, and Marshawn Lynch. And although it did help that Stealers started two players on bye, Detroit Larrys could potentially morph into a spoiler team given favorable matchups in the next coming weeks for Stafford against Jacksonville, Minnesota, Green Bay (home), and Indy. He runs into Jew Brees this week, who managed to claw his way back to .500 after a .06 point victory over under dogs which ran all the way down to the final whistle in the Monday night game between the Cardinals and 49ers- a game which, by the way, essentially was a snore fest where the biggest highlight was Randy Moss actually catching some passes (and a TD!).

This week, Butt Munchers and Sucka are going to slug it out, after both put up 100 points in week 8. Unseen draws DESTROY JEW BREES after he slid down into second place following a loss to Munchers. The top end of the standings and the coveted playoff spots are still completely up for grabs among 7 different teams, a situation which is due to shake itself out in the coming weeks. As the November 16 trade deadline approaches, the opportunity to swap currency will soon be coming to a close. Time to either put your chips up or stand pat. It is definitely fair to say that EVERY team could make improvements to maximize their scoring potential

Speaking of the parking space holder, DESTROY JEW BREES still hasn't solved his RB crisis with MJD out, still actin' more ignant than the dudes rhymin on "Bandz A Make Her Dance". And since we're on the topic, is there a whacker rapper makin $$s right now than 2 Chainz? Every verse Unseen hears from this dude sounds like some shit the modern-day "Mr. Bojangles" Soulja Boy wrote BEFORE he did "Crank That" and found some fucking clothes that fit. We ain't even mentioned the fact this dude looks like a damn human condor (the female version), or dresses like your aging hipster uncle who listens to the whack music today's teens are copping just so he could say he's "Up On Shit".

2 Chainz on the way to the studio to record another set of weak-ass bars

One phone just ain't enough...

Pretty sure this shit wouldn't even fly during the 80's...

D99 has a feeling 2 Chainz is going to end up being like all these other busted-ass rappers like Fabolous or Chamillionaire or Bow-Wow who REFUSE to go away into obscurity (where they belong) because the 10-13 year old demographic will continue to buy their shit and keep their careers alive. Sort of like the way DESTROY JEW BREES keeps managing to hang around despite the reality that his squad is the fantasy equivalent of the pink slime McDonald's was mixing into their beef to add weight to their burgers. Unseen bout to get his grub on.


Until Next Week.